She wasn’t actually angry at her mother, even about the car. She knew she couldn’t take her mom’s only means of transportation for her busy weekend, although it was fun to make a fuss about it. For all of their verbal spats and play-fighting, she really did feel lucky, because she did have the best mom in the world.• • •Seven Years Ago“Aww, Brian, are you sure you won’t stay with us for dinner?” Mrs. Rivera asked. “Call your folks, if you need to.”“Thank you, Mrs. Rivera, but no—I really can’t,” Brian said stiffly. “Thank you again so much for allowing me over, though.”“Oh, stop,” Mrs. Rivera laughed, stepping over and opening her arms wide for a hug. “Come over any time, you’re always welcome.”A slouching sixteen-year-old Emily rolled her eyes and sighed melodramatically, picking through her piled plate of spaghetti. Katie, now thirteen, sat on the other end of the table, minding her careful posture and graceful manners—while Brian was present, at least. That wretched little pit. Wait for itIt’s coming... The suspense is killing you, isn’t it?      ‘You’re just the first man who happened to catch my eye.’(Oh shut up, and just forward it!)This one is compliments of J & BWhat deep things retired men think aboutI mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, “Nothing.” The reason I said “nothing” instead of saying “just thinking” is because she then would have asked, “About what?”At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?Well, after another beer, and some more.
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